She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
