Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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