my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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