So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
