he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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