I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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