Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
