Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This baby is an asshole
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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