Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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