put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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