As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
