can we get nightvision for the apartment?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
