woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
