the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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