The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
