I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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