New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
you never un-have a 4some
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
