i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
