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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Who is this?

  (407): View more from Florida

  Who do you want it to be?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sarah Palin

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde

  Fav 4 2530 876

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.

  Fav 12 2617 1032

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  you are hot. that is all.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  who is this?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  the delivery driver from silvermine.

  Fav 32 5885 1762

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

  Fav 29 9479 1524

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.

  Fav 4 3401 1186

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo

  Fav 9 2489 1097

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Do you need my fax number or something?

  Fav 18 1815 1469

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That explains the stains on my shirt

  Fav 3 1697 804

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• (310): View more from California

  Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today

  Fav 5 1208 658

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.

  Fav 3 696 1523

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• (+58): View more from

  James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.

  Fav 14 1206 671

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.

  Fav 3 1004 593

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• (254): View more from Texas

  She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Won't she run out of nose eventually?

  Fav 3 840 938

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.

  Fav 2 60 23

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book

  Fav 0 28 7

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