Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
