it hurts more in the daytime
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
