I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
