he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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