Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
