just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
