The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
