i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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