just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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