Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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