saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
