I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
