Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
