So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
