i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
