We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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