I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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