Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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