I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
