he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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