She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
