I just saw a hot homeless man
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
