Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
