he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
