So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
