i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
