did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
