all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
