I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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