it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
