I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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